Today is Easter.  Christian tradition states that on this day, Jesus Christ rose from the dead, and was resurrected.

I am not a follower of any specific religion, yet most religions, and the stories of the Masters and Prophets at the core of each, offer beautiful lessons for everyone.

The stark contrast of the crucifixion and the resurrection carries many, many lessons, and so many people have written very eloquently about them.  So I am choosing a slightly different aspect of that magnificent story upon which to focus today, on which my wonderful brother helped to cast a light.

By many accounts, when Jesus was being tried, he was given every opportunity to recant his story, to recant who he claimed to be.  By many of these same accounts Jesus did not even attempt to defend himself, but was simply still, and perhaps restated the Truth as he knew it.  Jesus was quite aware of the consequences, yet never once denied who he was, even in the face of the horrific torture and death he was about to experience.

He refused to deny the Truth of Who He Was, regardless of the consequences.

When I really considered this, it really shook me to my core as I used the opportunity to look in my own mirror.

When I really, truly connect with the truth of who I am- I know I am a divine being-as we all are-  a product, a spark of the infinite love and compassion of a God we can’t imagine or capture in words.  Therefore, within me, and within all of us, is the capacity for the same infinite love, compassion, and joy; and all the powers of creation that go along with that, here for the divine purpose to create, experience, and share, ever greater levels of the Love that I am.

That, I know in my heart-of-hearts- is who I AM- that is my Self- my “big Self”- the ultimate truth of my existence which transcends all the other petty nonsense.

The petty nonsense is, of course, my “little self”- my ego and all the insecurities and fears which accompany that.

Jesus did indeed say to his disciples “deny your self”; but in this he of course meant our “little self”; the self that actually buys into the stories of fear and lack which we create in our lives; the self that mistakenly believes that more of everything in the material plane is better regardless of consequences, and the self that somehow thinks that Love is something which comes from outside ourselves and needs to be earned (again sometimes at any cost); that we aren’t automatically inherently deserving and full- yes FULL of all of that already.

But what Jesus actually demonstrated that day, knowing the horror he was about to endure, was a willingness not to deny his Self- the greater Truth of who he was.

I asked myself a simple question; how often do I deny the Truth of who I am; the truth of my greater Self, my divinity, even for far, far more petty consequences?  Sadly, too often.

I deny my Self when I couch my words of love and compassion for fear of what others will think of me.

I deny my Self when I stay small and quiet because I think I am not worthy of being heard.

I deny my Self when I ignore the beggar on the street for fear of what the others I am with might think or worse yet what the beggar might “do to me”.

I deny my Self when I see hatred, condemnation, and violence and do nothing because I don’t want to get involved.

I deny my Self when I don’t challenge others- or myself- for beliefs and statements full of judgment and cruelty because I don’t want to “upset the apple cart”.

I deny my Self when I don’t create- in any way- to my own potential, because others might not like it (like the 10 times I had to talk myself into posting this blog).

I deny my Self when I avoid the eyes of the disabled person, or aged person struggling to walk.

When I don’t express from my heart, and when I do not act from love, I am denying the very essence of Who I Am; the divine spark, the Grace of God within me.  In each of the examples above I am denying my Self based on petty fears of what others might think, how they might react, or that I might somehow loose something by exposing the Truth of who I am.  I am denying my big Self, in favor of a small, petty, fear-full little self.

Clearly, in the context of this discussion, the distinction is clear; Jesus did not deny his Truth in face of physical torture and death; yet I am willing to sell out simply on the basis of something miniscule in comparison.  Pretty sad, and for me this requires major self-compassion and forgiveness so that I don’t resent myself.

In each of us lies that beautiful spark of divinity, the soul whose only goal is to continually seek higher expressions of loving.  When we deny that, and do not act from that place, we are denying the very essence of who we are and fundamentally forgoing our primary purpose on this Earth.

Today is my Birthday.  Funny, my birthday does not mean so much to me anymore, as I know that in every day, every moment, every second, we are born again; free to choose our thoughts and to create our experience on this planet.

So in this moment I am taking a lesson from Jesus of Nazareth, who so long ago would not- could not- deny his Truth- his Purpose- regardless of consequences.

Can I do the same?  Can I honor my heart, and the Love that I am, and fully express all of it, regardless of consequences, however major or minor?

Perhaps this is one of my, and in a broader sense one of society’s, ultimate tests.

Love to all on this Easter.

Blair